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  • Ziyanda Mpakama

CHECK YOUR MOTIVES

Updated: Aug 27

You will learn that the screening process is an integral part of the adoption process. The screening process is there to guide and inform the social workers and legal professionals about the prospective adoptive parent/s. It is in this process where you have to really get in touch with yourself, to be honest with yourself about your motives for embarking on the adoption process. I was asked to write about what being a mother means to me, to write about something I had never experienced before. Below I share what I submitted to my social worker. I have kept this close to me as my True North. It is a constant reminder of why I became a mother…you know, for those moments when I feel like my sanity is hanging by the thread, when I start doubting myself as a mother, when I let mommy guilt grip me. It is God´s soft voice always reminding me that this is my calling.


Why do I want to be a mother? What does being a parent mean to me? I don’t know if one can ever fully answer this question. Particularly when you have not been a parent, you can only but imagine based on your own experience and what you dream and hope for. The job of being a parent is nothing short of a divine responsibility – to protect, teach, guide, be dependable, to serve, to help build a character, to love! As a Christian the one truth I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that God loves me, unconditionally. But even so, what I know about His love for me is only a fraction of how deep and bold and colourful it actually is.


Because our human nature will never fully comprehend God’s love for us, He gave us parenthood, to get the opportunity to REALLY experience the ultimate kind of love, AGAPE LOVE! Agape love is not like a brotherly love or a love between a husband and a wife. It is the most self-sacrificing love there is. This type of love is the love that God has for His own children. It is in parenthood one learns the true meaning of sacrifice for someone, learns the meaning of putting someone else’s needs and well-being first. Being a parent is really about dying to yourself and being birthed in compassion, love and divine strength.


My role as my daughter’s mother would not just be to raise her the best way I know how, but i to make it my daily mission that I am the tool God uses for her to be who God created her to be. It is about preserving her God-given identity and providing the support and environment she needs to discover it and blossom in it.


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